Twisted Friday

Maybe it's because I'm a nerd, or maybe it's truly funny, but I tend to get a kick out of misinterpretations or re-interpretations that rely on an audience knowing that a previously existing work has been twisted into something new.  This type of joke requires the audience member to be keenly aware of both genre conventions and a wide swath of pop culture.  In some ways, it's the real life equivalent of eats, shoots and leaves versus eats, shoots, and leaves.   Knowing about language and how punctuation forces us to parse this sentence differently - and have a completely different understanding of the life of a panda - makes the grammar joke funny.  And so it is with other things in our world, like novelty movie trailers that play off the idea that you'd have to know a.) something about a particular director's style and b.) something about genre and c.) how to twist that all together into something new.  To demonstrate what I'm saying in my medicated haze, here are some fake movie trailers that do this quite nicely.

Here's "Tim Burton Remakes Weekend At Bernie's":

 

And my personal favorite, which turns The Shining into the family movie Shining.  This gets extra points in my book for its use of Peter Gabriel's "Salisbury Hill," which was (and is) a long-standing auditory cue that a movie is most likely light-hearted and will depict a main character's redemption.

View from the couch on a snowy evening

Whose couch is this I think I know.
She's taken some prescription medication, though.

Medicine + me = bad news. So, it's back to the couch to enjoy a mini Twix and Nordic Combined (Olympic Fever! Catch it!). Will be back tomorrow with some potentially amusing things to say.

But you don't have to take my word for it...

On the off chance you're sitting under a pile of snow in the near future (or are waiting for the snow to come and thusly avoiding work), feel free to enjoy these Reading Rainbow Banned Book Reviews.

Reading Rainbow Banned Book Review #1 - watch more funny videos

Five Sentence Review: 16 and Pregnant, Week 2 (Nikkole)

The theme of this season so far: DTMFA.  If his mom is over his shit, you should be so far away from him he has to call Canada for Information.  Condoms are your friends; always use condoms.  A teenage boy should not make me want to throw my TiVo remote at the television, nor should I have an overwhelming desire to shake the sense into a pregnant teenager and then cry with her over her situation.  If I ever get anywhere near having a baby and the father of that baby is dumb enough to text during that appointment rather than hold my hand while the doctor attempts to see if he or she can find my tonsils, I will smack that phone out of that fool's hand so fast he'll think I developed crazy pregnancy lightning speed.

MTV's 16 and Pregnant - MTV Shows

What I did with my time away from writing

As I mentioned yesterday, I spent a long weekend away from writing and spent some time interacting with real, live humans whose writing success did not rest on my shoulders.  This was probably good for me, since the nature of dissertation writing and my lifestyle in general can lead to some pretty quiet days.  Funny story: Last spring, I had a pretty decent cold but didn't know I lost my voice until I was able to haul myself to the gym and had to speak to the check-in person.  Don't mistake me, though; I tend to like things quiet despite my reputation for being a chatterbox.  That said, socializing has its benefits. 

But my weekend of interacting with others led to me not being able to sum up the things I found interesting about last week.  So, in an effort to do so and also to look ahead a bit, here's what I was up to and what I think I might write about soon.

1.)  I am taking an art class at The Banana Factory in Bethlehem, Pa.  The Banana Factory is a really cool arts and education center that runs classes, has galleries, studios, artistic whatnot, and is a really great thing to have in town.  The glass class (try saying that fast) that I'm taking - The Art of Slumping and Fusing - is going very well and I like it very much.  In my first class, I made coasters.

 

In the most recent class, we made bowls.  I'm looking forward to seeing how mine came out (I made two).  If they're not too embarrassing, I might even post a picture.

2.)  I spent a lot of time trying to keep an ice cream cake frozen.  It was worth it.  And I highly recommend the ice cream cakes from another local establishment, The Cup (also known as The Bethlehem Dairy Store).

(Note:  You can't tell from the picture, but that thing was HUGE.  And full of mint chocolate chip and chocolate ice cream.  And crunchies.)
3.)  When I wasn't out and about, I managed to watch some TV, including the season premiere of 16 and Pregnant.  I'm not quite sure what I want to say about it yet - I might need to see tonight's episode to get a better feel for things - but I have been thinking about Jessica Grose's piece for Double X (now back on Slate) "Does MTV's 16 and Pregnant Keep Girls From Getting Pregnant?"  and trying to figure out whether or not her ideas help me get into a larger conversation about the show.  I've been fascinated by programming co-sponsored by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy ever since The Baby Borrowers and the first season of 16 and Pregnant, so I might be gearing up for a post soon.
4.)  Speaking of MTV, I've also been watching The Buried Life.  There's just something interesting about those polite, earnest Canadians traveling around attempting to show that anything is possible, helping others, and asking "What do you want to do before you die?"

 

While I'm still mad at MTV for taking away my music videos, I've been enjoying some of the new programming decisions they're making.  (Though not all of them - I was actually kind of bored by The Jersey Shore and My Life as Liz makes me want to lie face down on the floor and groan.  I don't know why.  Probably because I think it's annoying.)  I'll most likely write something about The Buried Life soon, either when I figure out why I like it (my best guess is that I'm drawn to the storytelling and the goal-oriented nature of the show) or when inspiration strikes.

5.)  Tiger Woods apologized to America for being himself in private.  And for being flawed.  I'm still not sure why.  I don't remember him cheating on all of us.

6.)  The Olympics have been cool.  I'm still having trouble getting into the Games, though.  If I stumble across something I'd like to see, then I'm all in.  But if I have to sit through ice dancing to get to something a bit more death-defying, I tend to change the channel.  And I really, really want to care about these Games.  And not just because they're really the only thing on TV for two weeks (though that does play a role).

So, that was what I was up to last week and where I think my writing may take me this week.  Bonus preview:  My weekend plans include a family party at Benihana.  This will be my first Japanese hibachi experience and I get to have it in interesting company.  I'm sure I'll have something to say about that.  

Getting in the zone

I had a productive day at school today.  I made sure that there was very little idle or wasted time so that I could leave my office knowing I had accomplished some of what I came to work to do.  I thought this would help get the week started on the right foot.  Then, as I was getting ready to leave for the day, I put my hand in pee.  I blame the poor lighting in the bathroom and my need to make sure that the paper on the seat is really, really on the seat before I sit down.  But still, it was super gross.  Though it could have been worse.  I could have sat in pee.  And I'm honestly having trouble with the whole putting-my-hand-in-a-stranger's pee thing, so I probably would never recover if I had made rear contact.  Dealing with that type of issue would probably require a full Silkwood shower and I honestly don't think I have enough soap. 

As is my custom, I decided to run off my troubles.  I was a little tired today, but I was determined to get on the treadmill after taking a few days off from running (And writing.  See! Back on track in two, count 'em, two departments!).  After my year of leg injury, pain, and lost strength, I'm starting to see some improvements, which has me looking towards actually running something competitive again.  But I'm not going to say what I think I'd like to participate in out of fear that I might jinx the whole thing.

As any runner might tell you, after stamina, mental preparedness, and getting into a good routine, the soundtrack is essential to the distance runner's success.  And while no one with any taste in music would probably take my suggestions, I was thinking about what makes a good running mix.  For me, it has to be uptempo, with a decent base line.  Basically, I need a little bounce to trick me into thinking I'm bouncing along as well.  It also helps if what I'm listening to is a slightly embarrassing party anthem.  Take, for example, this particular song: 

 

As I know from experience, it is terribly embarrassing for a 28 year-old to be caught driving around with the windows down blasting this song at full volume.  But it's completely appropriate for my iPod*.  

Then there's the song with the steady pace, that's kept me running before, like this one:

You might be asking, "How do you transition between Miley Cyrus and Eminem?"  The answer is that you really can't.  Plus, it's running music.  It's not like I'm trying to send myself a special mix-tape message full of hidden meaning and longing. 

And even though it's probably strange to talk about Eminem and Mariah Carey within three sentences of each other, well, celebrity tension be damned, because I like running to this song, too:

I also enjoy the classics.  Like this one:

Or this one:

I also like to run to this song because I've always thought the Bangles were pretty badass.  Kind of like her**:

And those kids from Glee have an infectious sort of enthusiasm about them.  

So, I'm a little all over the place.  But I also might have done some editing to exclude the truly embarrassing stuff.

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* I listen to the single version that mentions Jay Z (who Miley reportedly doesn't listen to, but I do) and doesn't include a Michael Jackson tribute.
** I've had some trouble running to this song recently.  Once I figured out that the Sunday Night Football song sung by Faith Hill was set to the same tune, I couldn't hear "I Hate Myself for Loving You " the same way.  I like Joan Jett and the Blackhearts and I like football.  I'm iffy on Faith Hill.  But I don't like all those things together.  But since I can't control myself, I'm going to share it anyway.

Two things I like: The Olympics and Ikea spelling

Tonight's Olympic broadcast - a mercifully ice skating-free evening - makes me not want to stray from my couch for too long.  While I know absolutely nothing about Snowboard Halfpipe, I am fully invested in Team U.S.A. and their fake-denim snow pants.  Also, the Finnish snowboarders are being referred to as "the Finnish Mafia" by the sportscasters on NBC, which makes them sound menacing.  But this is being undercut by the repeated discussion of how they're really, really nice guys.  I'm just wondering why there isn't a cutesy but strangely menacing name for the American snowboarders.  I mean, really?  Their given names?  NBC, you're better than that.

Anyways, today I was laughing at some of The Onion's Olympic posts, so I thought I'd share.  In honor of Lindsey Vonn's gold medal in the Women's Downhill, here's "Lindsey Vonn Credits Success to Really Good Ski Poles."  And, in honor of the general strangeness of Winter Olympic events, check out the Snokaathlaan slide show.  I love that there's a "lava stage," a "stretch where family and friends gather to scream at athletes that they'll never make it, as per tradition," "Bob Costas sitting by fireplace," blindfolds, and belly flops.

Now, back to my couch.  I can hear excited yelling coming from my television and I want to join in at home.

Wednesday soundtrack

An embarassment of riches

While hanging out in my office today, noting the lack of balance between the time I spent taking breaks and the time I spent working, I noticed that what was standing between me and my work was a lot of good stuff to read on the internet.  Some days, nothing comes through the tubes.  Today, well, I couldn't decide which one thing to post about, so I decided to mention some of the best.

First, Chris Jones's profile of Roger Ebert, "Roger Ebert: The Essential Man" in Esquire has received some good press today.  And the praise for the profile is well-earned; it draws a compelling picture of Ebert's life since he lost the ability to speak, eat, and drink in 2006.  The article touches on Ebert's life with his wife, his home, his day-to-day adaptations to living with the results of the surgeries he underwent to treat his thyroid cancer, his professional life, and his new existence that takes place in writing.  I found the profile's discussion of Ebert's relationship with Gene Siskel and Siskel's death and the new, more important role writing has taken in Ebert's life to be the most moving parts of a long piece that never lagged.  All in all, Jones's article was a fitting writerly tribute to another writer.

Also worth reading/checking out is Roger Ebert's blog, Roger Ebert's Journal, which is much, much more than a film blog.  In fact, it's not really easy to categorize the blog because of the breadth of topics Ebert writes about.  As the profile of Ebert in Esquire points out - and as many people knew already - Ebert has been an even more prolific writer in recent years (since he lost the ability to speak) and some of his best, most interesting, and most accessible work is on his blog.  You should check it out.  You'll be surprised at what you find.

Now, since I'm coming to you live from my couch as I watch Women's Snowboard Cross, I think it's only appropriate to note that a good deal of the writing that caught my attention today related to coverage of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver.  First, since watching coverage of the Olympics means watching a variety of human interest stories about the athletes' journeys to the Games, Slate has re-introduced their "Olympics Sap-O-Meter," an interactive feature that allows you to see how many times certain sappy phrases are uttered during the each day's broadcast.  There are 35 words being tracked during these Games, and the interactive feature allows you to see how much each word has been used each day and how many times all the sappy words in total.  Slate also ran a story today by Edward McClelland, "He Shoots.  He Skis: A would-be biathlete tries winter's weirdest sport," in which the author tries his hand at the biathlon.  Finally, in response to the strange conditions and mishaps in Vancouver and Bob Costas's hair, Salon ran a piece by Steve Almond, "Nice try Canada.  But you're fired."   Salon is asking some of their favorite writers to comment on the games, and in this piece, Almond talks a little bit about the athletes but mostly about the misfires and general strangeness of these particular Winter Games.

On an Olympics-related note, does anyone know how old Bob Costas is?  Because it appears as though he is not visibly aging.

And now, the English teacher inside of me thinks I've given you enough homework.  Happy reading!

Let's get this Monday started

 

Sorry I couldn't find a fancier video, but I was listening to this in my office and thought it might help someone else working on Presidents' Day get going.

Summing up a week of snowy delighfulness

This week, those of us in the Mid-Atlantic region had two relatively large snowstorms.  The first one, which hit hard in some places and made a small impact others, was met with Snowpacalypse Now levels of anticipation and panic.  This response, coupled with 6 fewer inches of snow than promised made me frustrated (see last week's sum-up for more details).  I mean, it's February.  Snow is on the list of things that are likely to happen.  The second storm, predicted to be larger and resulting in greater accumulations received far less fanfare.  I guess we were too tired to get all riled up.  But a lot of us got a longer long weekend.  And for those of us who actually don't have Presidents' Day off, well, we got a weekend in the middle of the week.  All in all, things weren't too bad.  So, let's look back at what's been going on.

1.)  Well, snow.  And daytime television.  And calling my parents and interrupting the Good Morning America and scrambled eggs party they were having.  And power outages.  Which looked like this:





I also amused myself by taking pictures of people getting stuck while driving like idiots.

2.)   The Olympics started.  I don't have full-blown Olympic fever, but I might if I ever figure out when the stuff I want to see is on.  I stayed up late to watch Women's Freestyle Moguls last night and almost thought I could do a back flip on skis.  That's the magic of the Olympics.  The magic of being an adult is realizing that's insane.
3.)  30 Rock was awesome, especially Liz Lemon's root-canal hallucination of her past boyfriends.  Also notable was the Jon Bon Jovi cameo as NBC's "artist in residence" and the montage of his appearances on a variety of NBC properties.
4.)  It seems that Pam no longer speaks on The Office.  She just smiles beatifically and says one line the entire episode.  I wonder if she's having married lady pregnancy muteness brought on by writers who want to sideline the Jim and Pam story until their baby gets born (after the Olympics).
5.)  Things were nicely quiet.  Let's see what next week brings.

Dangerous questions

Every now and again I ask my boyfriend something he categorizes as a "dangerous question."  According to him, a "dangerous question" is a question that is either 1.) asked in a way that demands a particular answer or 2.) is a trap from which no good can come.  Some possible examples of past dangerous questions include: 1.) Do you think I contribute nothing to society, or am I just lazy?,  2.) Do you think my ass is growing in the shape of my new office chair?,  or 3.)  If you weren't my boyfriend, do you think you would think I'm mean or just annoying?  With this type of question, there's no safe way out.  But I'm not asking these questions because I want to trap him or start a fight.  I'm usually asking dangerous questions about things that I can only ask the people I trust the most.  Because I do worry about my usefulness and my ass.  Who doesn't?  And who else am I supposed to ask?

But of course, this makes me wonder about my relationship behavior because television and movies tell us how we (and our partners) are supposed to act.  I mean, most people on television don't quiz their partners about outlandish personal insecurities and then have a rational discussion about why those questions are unanswerable.  On television, the boyfriend either answers the question and gets in trouble or he invents a complex scheme to avoid answering anything, ever.  Also, on television, there is a lot less mutual enjoyment of one's partner's more embarrassing moments, like when I try to get my boyfriend to stop laughing about how much - and how loudly - I fart in yoga class.  I've been wondering, too, on this the Valentine's Day of 2010, how the media shapes how we understand relationships and what, if anything, we learn from the television about our hearts.

Let's look at some of the relationships that work* on television.

 

 

My standard for a relationship that "works" on television is that it becomes hard to separate reality from fiction.  For example, my mother is surprised every time she sees Alyson Hannigan with her real-life husband.  From these couples, I know we are supposed to laugh with our partners, display our insecurities, and have touching private moments that say who we really are as a couple.  Okay, I can deal with that.

Now, some of the more baffling/harder to explain relationships.

Okay, I'm not going to go the trite overweight/interesting-looking (you're welcome)-comedian-inexplicably-married-to-hot-woman route.  It's been done.  What these clips tell me is that sometimes you need to be told when to laugh.

Now, let's turn to the iconic teenage relationship.

Oh, the way he leans.

There's the Lemon.

Enough said.


And there's the one that I've spent many years trying to understand why people cared about it in the first place.

Just so you know, I was yelling "Stay on the plane!" So loudly during that finale that my dad came upstairs from the basement to see what was going on. After he sprinted into the room, my mom, sitting on the couch across the room told him, "She's mad because she thinks the story is dumb."  He got me some ice cream to calm me down.

In conclusion, I have no idea what television tells us about relationships except that that good ones make us care and the bad ones make us change the channel or hope for a swift cancellation.  If you can make that into something deeper, you're welcome to do so.

For Sunday morning, which usually follows Saturday night

While I'm at home, I'm sure there are plenty of people out this evening.  This one's for you.

 

On a related note, whenever I make my students count off for group work, I tell them we're going to play a game of screaming numbers.  Since they're too young to get it and probably not big fans of Canadian sketch comedy, it's a joke I share only with myself.

Saturday Movie Club: A Single Man

Every year on September 10th, my mom calls me.  And she should, since that happens to be my birthday.  But rather than sing "Happy Birthday" to me on my voicemail, she sings it to Colin Firth, who she did not give birth to but who shares by birthday.  Because even though I'm her child, I'll lose out on every shared birthday.  And, well, I don't really mind.

I decided to start on that light-hearted note because now I'm going to talk about A Single Man, the Tom Ford-directed movie that stars Colin Firth*.  And I'm not saying that I've decided to start on a light note because I'm going to slam the movie - I'm not, and I pretty much liked it - but because the movie is far from light fare.  If you're looking for Bridget Jones-type moments like these

 

you're out of luck.  And, if you were hoping this guy shows up

 

well, that's not going to happen, either.  Though Colin Firth does swim in this movie.  And he is significantly nakeder**. Another notable similarity between Pride and Prejudice and A Single Man is that at pivotal points in each film, Firth's character is called "sir."  But that's pretty much where the similarities end.  

While most of Colin Firth's work ends (or includes) laughs and smiling as Firth broods and glowers at the lucky object of his affection, if you're laughing or smiling at the end of (or during most of) A Single Man, you either didn't get it or you're kind of a jerk.  A Single Man is one of the few movies that Firth carries alone, and it showed me that I'd like to see that happen more often.  His portrayal of George Falconer, a gay English professor in California in the 1960s who has recently lost his long-time partner, was moving.  His pain was palpable and Firth, never a particularly chatty actor, was able to take the silences that have always made him an intriguing romantic lead and transform them into moments of pure anguish.  Firth's George's desperation was both uncomfortable and alluring - as an audience member, I didn't want to confront that much heartbreak, but at the same time I didn't want to turn my back on George.  I spent the whole movie mourning with him and worrying about him. 

The actors in A Single Man - Firth and, most notably Julianne Moore as George's friend Charlotte/Charley - made the movie a study in desperation and loss.  Through careful, tight performances every actor, major and minor, made every moment of the film full of deep struggle, longing, and fear of unknown pain.  And I'm pointing this out because the strength of the actors and their performances were enough to convey the immense tension of the story to the audience.  I don't remember where I read it, but I had heard that it was clear that a designer, not a director, had directed A Single Man.  And while I thought that Tom Ford did a solid job for a first-time director, I found the moments when it was clear that the designer had taken over pretty distracting.  Again, I don't remember and can't find the review, but I remember the reviewer having a lot of trouble with Ford's use of extreme close-ups, especially on the eyes.  I have to agree with this criticism.  For me, they were plot arrows that I didn't especially need.  And I suspect most audience members didn't need them.  I thought the movie was beautiful and mostly well done, but the style and design sometimes crowded out the narrative, making me wish that Ford could just let things be slightly more organic.  The material and the performances felt like they needed a slightly defter hand and much less underlining of the main points.  But, all in all, I think A Single Man was worth my time and I was glad to see Colin Firth have the room to be an actor and not just Mr. Darcy***.

 

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* And earned Firth an Academy Award nomination.
** Did I just make up a word?  Yes, yes I did.  And did I just select clips from Pride and Prejudice and the modern adaptation of Pride and Prejudice?  Yes, yes I did as well.  I can be ever so clever when I want to be.
*** Though, don't get me wrong, being Mr. Darcy is a wonderful and valuable enterprise and I thank Colin Firth for everything he has bestowed upon humanity in the Mr. Darcy department.  Praise be to Jane Austen.

If you had a dessert like this you'd do a photo shoot, too

Vegan Treats Tiramisu. Don't let the "vegan" part of that fool you. This is sure to be delicious.

Snow Cave

This is the current view out my bedroom window. It hasn't stopped yet, but even now it looks like there's nothing else in the word except snow.

Snow Day, Fun Day

As we continue to endure Snowpocalypse 2: Return of the White Invader with far, far less anxiety than we did this weekend, it's come to my attention that it might be time for some sort of game.  Since 28 is probably a bit too old to inflate the old snow tube and find a good sledding hill, I'm proposing an indoor game.  Or, at least, a collaborative effort of sorts. Since just about everyone I know is at home and probably on the computer (or, will be on the computer some time in the near future to see who else is on the computer), let's see where this goes.

In response to yesterday's post about being from New Jersey and the phenomenon of "NJdar," as my friend Colleen called it, my other friend Kristina proposed that I write a post about filled with reasons why New Jersey is cool that aren't exactly typical reasons for liking New Jersey (and its residents).  She suggested that I get the ball rolling with a few reasons of my own and then others (like her) could add to it.  So, I'm going to go for it.  But, since not all my friends are from the Garden State, it seems like it would only be fair to open this up a bit.  So, while I'm going to start the list with some individual, hopefully different reasons why I think New Jersey is a nice place, I'm going to open this up to anyone who wants to talk about what makes where they're from special.  In a lot of cases, we might know something about where other people grew up, but that knowledge is probably limited.  I figured, let the people who were there tell it like it is.

Without further ado, I'll get things started.

1.)  For a small, relatively well-known state, New Jersey can still surprise even long-term residents.  A couple of years ago, while I was on a fall bike ride along the towpath of the Delaware River, I came up with a new state slogan, "New Jersey.  It has its moments."  In terms of scenery, things to do, and places to go, there's a lot more diversity to the state than people tend to realize.

2.)  I grew up being able to see this from my backyard.  That's just kind of fun and weird. 

3.)  For a large state with so much in terms of resources and industry, there are still a whole bunch of non-chain, individual places to get great food and whatnot.  To put it simply: Why does eating Subway make me angry?  Because I grew up with my pick of great sub sandwich places that I now return to as an adult to shame the sandwiches of friends who grew up elsewhere. 

I'm going to turn it over now.  Again, what makes where you grew up interesting or special?  What don't people know that they should?

The sweet sounds of New Jersey

The other day, I had lunch with a group of people I know and a stranger.  Typically, when a newcomer is meeting a group, he or she might ask where every member of the group is from.  This was not the case at this particular lunch.  For the sake of my ego, I am currently pretending that everyone else gathered at lunch identified their place of origin Von Trapp-style while I was getting my coat.

During a discussion of regional differences - particularly the pace of the East Coast versus everywhere else in the country - the group got on the topic of life in Pennsylvania.  I don't even remember what I said, but the newcomer in question turned to me and said, "And where are you from?  Because it's not Pennsylvania.  You stick out like a sore thumb in this group."  Which I guess is sort of true.  While the newcomer was not a native Pennsylvanian, everyone else at the table was and somehow, I was not fitting in quite right.  I explained that I'm from New Jersey (and, internally I noted, "And damn proud"), about an hour "that way," pointing in the direction of 78 East.  For good measure, I also mentioned that, for me, living in Pennsylvania is like living in a foreign country close to home. 

Since I'm me, I'm not quite sure what codes me as a New Jerseyan, but I have a feeling it's something about the way I speak*.  And while my regional accent is not as  pronounced as some (at least, that's what my Mid-Western-raised boyfriend says, probably to stay on my good side), I don't sound like I belong on Jersey Shore (and most of them are from Staten Island anyway).  But all of this did get me thinking about something that I think holds true.  When a person is from a place with a regional accent - even if that accent only creeps into his or her vowels from time to time - all bets are off when that person gets upset.  And while I know I've been doing quite a bit of 30 Rock posting lately, this clip of Kenneth gets my point across quite nicely.

On a related note - and not because I'm Jersey proud or anything - but have you ever noticed that once people realize you're from New Jersey, they can't stop talking about it with you**?  It's like being the prettiest girl in the room.

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* And possibly my demeanor.  People from New Jersey do have that air about them.  Or, at least, we're pretty good at identifying each other on sight.  But then again, everyone knows everyone else's cousins. 
** The lunchtime conversation in question did involve a discussion of the regional nuances of New Jersey residency, particularly the divide between North and South Jersey.  I clarified that if you're only going to divide the state in two, then I am from North Jersey.  But to be more accurate, I would classify myself as having been raised in Central Jersey.  And I am most certainly not from South Jersey.  Which I hear is lovely.  But it is most certainly not my home.  Crazy Pineys live there.

I like my ads with a side of dignity

I tend to watch the Super Bowl more for the game that kills time in between the commercials than for the commercials themselves, but I thought I would share my favorite commercial of the evening.  I also like to think of it as the commercial that made me exclaim (to the surprise of the other Super Bowl partiers), "Aw, they're in love!" and not the one (of many) that made me mutter, "Well, that was confusing AND angry."

 

And, because most of last night's commercials made it plain that men in America live in a terrible, terrible world where women are mean and withhold their spines, beer, Dodge Chargers, and Doritos from them, I thought I'd post Samantha Bee's report, "Male Inequality" from last Wednesday's episode of The Daily Show.  

A Kenneth and Liz Party

As I am physically incapable of being anything but extremely punctual, I was the first to arrive at this evening's Super Bowl party.  My gracious host and fellow 30 Rock fan met me at my car and let me know that it might be a "Kenneth and Liz party," which I found particularly funny since I get to be Liz every way you slice it.  And from now on, I will be calling my host Kenneth at work.  And, in the near future, I might try to make him get me a sandwich.  I haven't been able to find any good clips of  the "Greenzo" episode that shows us what Kenneth's parties look like (and why he doesn't have parties anymore).  But, since I'd still like to honor of the early part of the evening*, here are some short, but fun moments from 30 Rock.  

First, the party song that almost rocked the party tonight.

Now, a moment from television that scarily imitates my own life.

And finally, the reason why I want Kenneth at the door of every party.

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*The other guests were about 5 minutes behind me.

Summing up a week of snowy promises

Winter weekends can be crazy, full of ups and downs.  Take this weekend, for instance.  Those of us in the mid-Atlantic survived what was built up in the media to be the destruction of civilization as we know it by weather that's completely normal for February.  Meanwhile, in a related story, everyone on Central and Mountain time laughed at the ransacking of every business that sells food and the hysteria of our newscasters.  This evening, while still recovering from the terror of falling snow, we eagerly await the Super Bowl tomorrow night.  With so much tension in the air, let's look back at the week we just barely managed to survive.

1.) On Thursday night's Parks and Recreation, we met DJ Roomba, the most excellent cleaning/music device ever.  Since Thursday night, I've been casually hinting to my boyfriend that he needs something similar in his home.

2.) As a part of the Super Bowl week coverage, Stefan Fastis wrote an interesting piece on Slate, "Peyton Manning is a Genius.  He's also a pain in the ass.," about my favorite quarterback.  On a related note, I plan to use some of my Peyton Manning coasters during Sunday's Colts/Saints Super Bowl.  I know I've completely impressed you now.

3.)  To offset the intensity of Peyton Manning the player, I give you Peyton Manning on SNL.  And I'm not just doing this because I like him.  This Digital Short is also genuinely funny.  And I'm posting this because I agree - to paraphrase Slate's "Hang Up and Listen" sports podcast - that if Peyton Manning couldn't make us laugh, he'd be terrifying.

4.)  I am afraid I might be catching Olympic fever.  I'll know more by next Friday, at which point I might be standing on my couch, singing the instrumental NBC Olympic theme*.

5.)  I finished the third season of The Tudors.  I actually don't have much to say about it.  Solid costume drama.  Love the set design.  Desperately miss Ann Boleyn but know we can't have her back.

6.)  Punxsatawney Phil saw his own shadow, which condemned us to this horror:

 

But don't worry, I survived.  Even if I do look a little haggard.

Actually, it was worse in other places.  But I plan to remain cranky until I get a good snowstorm.

7.)  A Saturday evening marathon of Toddlers and Tiaras (currently playing in the background), has made me eternally grateful for my lack of rhythm and my parents' decision to encourage me to play sports.  

And because you've been so good, I'll let you see those Peyton Manning coasters I was talking about:

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*Though even then I might not be able to tell.  If I end up calling my brother - my favorite instrumental theme song-singing partner - I might not be able to gauge when, exactly, I've fallen into the abyss.

A Spider-Man for the Wes Anderson set

 

A fun parody of Wes Anderson's filmic affectations as we slouch our way towards the weekend.  And, if you live in the NY/NJ/PA area, a final laugh before the snowpocalpyse tears the fabric of our society to shreds...at least, until the plows come out on Sunday.

Berries a la Mode

I vaguely remember a time when Dr. Drew didn't bother me

Back in my middle school days, when cable was new and MTV showed videos or aired The Grind during the day, I remember thinking that Dr. Drew was pretty cool on that Loveline show that I wasn't supposed to be watching*.  Despite my questions about the possibility that the different iterations of Celebrity Rehab  were exploitative and my serious reservations about diagnosing a person you don't treat (even though I have no real knowledge of the psychiatric field - it just seems wrong), I've always been all right with Dr. Drew.  Until tonight.

I'm writing this post during the commercial breaks for the Teen Mom Reunion Special - "One-Year Check-Up with Dr. Drew" or something like that.  Anyway, the interviews on these MTV specials are always a bit too short.  I guess they edit the hell out of things to allow for the really long commercial breaks MTV has always had and to get viewers to go to MTV's website for exclusive footage. And, this particular case, the interviews are trending towards the condescending.

Maybe I'm being too hard on Dr. Drew.  But the constant spewing of statistics as an introduction to an interview and in the middle of a conversation are distracting.  As are the mentions of various resources - like teen pregnancy prevention websites and dating violence websites - when there's an appropriate segue.  Not that I don't think that these resources are important or that MTV's target audience needs access to them.  I think the more information, the better.  Seriously, go to MTV now and stock up on useful information.  But I do have a problem with the scripted and almost cold feeling of the Teen Mom reunion special.  In particular, I have a problem with Dr. Drew asking Amber a question about her response to immense frustration acted out violently (in this case, when Amber hit Gary) being interrupted by Dr. Drew's turning away to mention a useful domestic violence site.  I know this information needs to be presented almost immediately so as to 1.) Not condone actions that even the actor disagrees with and to 2.) Capitalize on the short attention spans of teenage viewers, but there's got to be a better way to do it.

Again, I appreciate the information and hope it helps someone, but the way this special has been running has been so forced and scripted and makes me feel as though once again, no one is listening to these young women when they speak.  For a show that is relatively organic - while all reality shows are false in a variety of ways, this one has the feeling of a commitment to the truth - these specials with Dr. Drew ring a tad hollow.

But here's what really, really gets to me about tonight's episode.  And now I say this with the understanding that these interviews have been just cut to pieces, but the particular topics Dr. Drew focused on in certain interviews - namely those with Maci and Amber - really bothered me.  While both young women are dealing with schoolwork, daycare, being home (and frustrated) all day, changing residences, and partners who have not matured at the same rate as they have, Dr. Drew focused on the idea of reconciliation between the couples.  And while I know Dr. Drew is a professional and I am just a lowly English grad student, as I watched more and more Teen Mom this season, I began to really, really hope that both Maci and Amber would leave their boyfriends for good.  It was hard to watch these girls - both with older partners - grow up quickly and pass their boyfriends in maturity.  And I didn't think that Ryan and Gary were bad guys.  They're probably very nice, but it has been clear since the original 16 and Pregnant series that neither Ryan nor Gary  were unprepare for the demands of the type of relationship that involves a girlfriend AND a baby.  And, it seemed to me that all members of these couples had trouble empathizing with one another or working as a team.  I wasn't rooting against these guys, but I felt like Maci and Amber needed to cut Ryan and  Gary off so that they could stop feeling like they were being dragged down to places that made them tense, anxious, and self-doubting.  Basically, I didn't think that the pain these girls said they felt would stop until they quit thumbing the bruise.  But Dr. Drew, he thought that getting back together was an option in Maci and Ryan's case and appeared to congratulate Amber and Gary for resolving their differences.  I guess we saw different things.


Okay, okay, Dr. Drew did a decent interview with Farrah, who I totally understood but found completely frustrating nonetheless**.  I'm also wondering if this show was shot before or after Farrah and her mom had that nasty domestic violence incident.  No one has said anything and Dr. Drew's about to bring her mother out, but that could just be to talk about the regular tension between the two of them***.

All right, that's enough Teen Mom and Dr. Drew.  I'll be TiVoing the new season of 16 and Pregnant, so until then I'll just have to live off the fumes of the memories of the quality programming MTV provided this season.

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*For the record, I mostly didn't watch.  Most things went right over my head, which meant that I got bored really quickly.
**Yes, she was selfish, but most teenagers are.  The fact that she became a mom wasn't going to rip all the teenager out of her, as frustrating as that might be for those who are around her (or watching on TV).  Also, a lot of us can understand the impulse to have your cake and eat it, too.  It just gets more complicated when raising a baby and expectations about what one's role as a mother should be gets involved.
***Okay, this is either before Farrah's mom's arrest or the whole special is set up to be mildly deceptive about what went on between those two.

This actually made me work out harder

At the gym, I tend to watch a lot of ESPN or CNBC (by the way, thank you for all the Jeopardy! answers...or questions...whatever).  In the case of ESPN, I like it and can watch it without sound and still know what's going on.  And, in the case of CNBC I have something to look at that keeps my eyes off Fox News.  But Friday night, I almost fell off my stationary bike because I had to very nearly let go of the handlebars and let out a whoop during this particular run.  And most nights I only feel compelled to yell at the TV when I'm on the treadmill in front of Jeopardy!